First of all, a hearty thank you to the ATO* who have decided to let me submit a short tax return (4 pages!) instead of the other thing. I can’t even do e-tax this year because all my Important Stuff is still in storage.
It was a promising start: I had my laptop, bank statements, group certificate, cup o’ tea at the ready. I made some headway and, once I had dealt with a piece of Important Paper, I put it on the floor to my right.
Simon – because he likes to help – tries to sit on my pile of Important Papers. Yes, I’ve already used them, but that doesn’t mean I want them crumpled and be-furred. I knew Simon was lurking nearby as he had just had a spat with his girlfriend, Misty-from-next-door, so I discarded some old envelopes on the floor to my left. When Simon was inevitably drawn inside by the sound of Important Papers and attempted to settle himself on them, I shooed him away and let him discover the pile of envelopes a short distance away.
/Simon sits on the envelopes thoughtfully.
It worked for a while. What I hadn’t taken into account was the ray of sunshine –> to my right. It didn’t take Simon long to realise he’d be duped and he padded back over to assume his rightful post.
/I sigh loudly.
/Simon gives me a look which says I should have seen it coming.
/Enter Father who announces, “Vista must be really different.”
“Mmm“, I say.
By keeping my reply brief and my eyes fixed on the screen I hoped to avoid being entangled in a conversation of indeterminate length with Father.
My response was obviously not the correct one and he presses on with the conversation as originally planned. I will spare you the details.
/Cut to me and Simon wasting time.
Listen carefully. He purrs the whole way through. And yes, that is him purring, despite the fact that he sounds like a pigeon.
*Hands up who thought they’d see the day when I publically thanked the ATO. Anyone? No?