Week ending 28 May, 2010

1.09pm, 24 May, 2010

(From The Big Issue No. 355, page 43)

From: Cameron & Clegg <ukgovt@ukgovt.uk>
To: UK people <uk@uk.uk>
Subject: The New UK

Dear UK Peeps,
David Cameron and Nick Clegg from the UK Government here. How are you? We are fine. Hey isn’t it great that we have formed a coalition? The Tory Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats – who woulda thunk it? Anyway, we’ve had to change a few things: from now on our party will be known as the Toribals. Also, as one party was centre-left-social-liberal and the other was centre-right-conservative, our persuasion will now be centre-leftish-social-bit-to-the-right-thanks-whoa-back-up-a-bit. And from now on we should be collectively addressed as Dick Clagg.
Ah compromises!

PM Dick Clagg


10.50am, 25 May, 2010

I have a genuine reason to use the word “Messers” in an official letter. Woo-hoo!


12.12pm, 25 May, 2010

In the kitchen at work, I watch our Executive Director’s EA wash out a Diet Coke bottle, take off the label and put bottle and cap in the recycling bin.

Durdlin: Did you just take off the label and recycle the bottle and lid separately?

ED’s EA: Yes, did you know you’re supposed to take the label off? Lots of people don’t. It makes me furious when I see people throw their empty cartons or bottles in the bin. The recycling bin is RIGHT THERE!

Testify.


8.08am, 26 May, 2010

Colleague: Ahh, well done, good to see.

Durdlin (perplexed): … ?

I turn around and notice he is wearing a maroon football jersey. It is State of Origin time and I have unintentionally worn a maroon shirt to work.

Durdlin: Oh! That was accidental.

Colleague: Well, there’s hope for you yet.


10.23am, 27 May, 2010

…is focused on providing and ensuring that its overall usability and capability meets our employee’s needs“.

I wonder who the lucky employee is?


8.18am, 28 May, 2010

(I’m allowed to buy a coffee every Friday. For the last 9 months or so I’ve been going to a friendly place across the road that lets me use my own travel mug instead of their disposable ones).

Barista: It’s a beautiful mug.

Durdlin: Thank you!

Barista: …for a beautiful lady.

Durdlin: Aww, thanks! Have a great day.


8.51am, 28 May, 2010

Dear my team at work,
Every time one of you says “Is it the 28th (or whatever date it happens to be) today?” I hear my Father chime, “All day and half the night“.
So far I have resisted the urge to say this aloud. I hope you realise just how much self restraint this requires.
Love Durdlin


Advertisements

3 responses to “Week ending 28 May, 2010

  1. I love you and your blog. And you ARE a beautiful lady. 🙂

  2. Oh I love that ‘all day and half the night’ – that’s the first timeI’ve heard it!

    Also, charming barista. That’s great!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s