My name is Durdlin and I have a problem

Hello.

My name’s Durdlin and I have a problem.
It’s my 30th birthday and I don’t know how I feel about it.

I don’t know how I feel about it because I feel too many things at once.
I feel

  • I should be more excited about it because it’s a ‘special milestone’
  • I should be less excited about it because it’s ‘just another day’
  • pressured to have the best birthday ever
  • guilty that I haven’t done those Things You Should Do Before You Turn Thirty*
  • absolutely thrilled that I’m too sensible to have done These Things You Should Try Before You Turn Thirty#
  • really happy with my life right now thanks very much
  • slightly panicked that time marches inexorably on
  • excited about the increasing number of gray hairs I have
  • proud about what I’ve achieved so far, big and small
  • like I’m growing into myself
  • more responsible and trustworthy
  • concerned that I’ll turn into an invisible, middle aged woman
  • pleased that I’m turning into an invisible, middle aged woman
  • like I’m disappointing my friends who enjoy parties

I’m not having a party.
Instead I’ve taken 2 weeks off work and have/will

  • spend time with new friends
  • spend time with old friends
  • spend time with family
  • get out of bed when I’m good and ready
  • find new things to photograph
  • devastate Doctor Octagon with regular cuddle storms
  • not worry about money
  • not worry about my job
  • spend time in the wind and the rain
  • savour heartfelt hugs
  • laugh ’til I cry

My name is Durdlin.
I’m 30 and I don’t mind.

_____________________________________________________________

*Stuff like buy a house, have children, climb a mountain, write a book, etc.
You know the drill.

_____________________________________________________________

#Some of the more horrifying ones I found ’round about teh interwebs:

  • Depressing: break someone’s heart / visit a strip club
  • Frightening: hold a tarantula / get voted into public office
  • Unrealistic: pay off all your debt / get cast in a movie
  • Irresponsible: bluff your way into a job you’re totally unqualified for / spend a whole pay packet on a pair of shoes / have a fling with a man you know is bad for you

What on earth???

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7 responses to “My name is Durdlin and I have a problem

  1. I think you should be happy that you’re you and leave it at that. Don’t analyse it too much. Just have a lovely day with your Burfit. šŸ™‚

    Happy Burthuday!

    – K. x

  2. Oh Happy Birthday! How exciting! I sometimes wonder if these lists just cause us more pain than good.

  3. Getting it all out of my head and ‘out there’ has helped. And I’m having a perfectly fabulous day!

  4. My list of important things to do before you are 30.

    1. Don’t die. Because if you do, I will miss you.

    That is all.

  5. That sounds a little intense so I will add Rule 2.

    2. Celebrate not being dead yet by having the best time you’ve ever had since last time you didn’t die!

    Dang – that still sounds intense and scary. Just as well you didn’t invite me to your party, if you’d had one.

  6. I like this. It’s a mix of being comfortable being you and yet always striving to be a better you. Two weeks off sounds like a lovely way to celebrate being 30- enjoy every minute!

  7. Happy belated birthday! Been off the radar a bit lately, but I trust you had a lovely day and that you’re enjoying your 2 weeks off. And yay for grey hairs! I’m “growing my hair out” at the moment and the greys just keep coming! Hubs says it looks distinguished and I tend to agree šŸ™‚

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