One reason why I’d like to keep the job I currently have is the people in my team.
- Dan, colleague with whom I have regular (friendly) spats;
- Jen, colleague who usually sticks up for me in said regular (friendly) spats;
- Tracey, part of the team that sits on the other side of our floor;
- Durdlin; and
- The Cough-er, a particularly irritating gentleman whose voice box seems to be stuck on ‘outside voice’. The Cough-er has also been ill recently and has returned to work prematurely (or so my team has decided).
It’s mid-morning on a Friday. The boss is away and no one is feeling particularly motivated.
The Cough-er has been hacking away for a little while when Durdlin gets an email from Tracey. What ensues is a group email conversation.
— — —
Tracey : How are you coping with COUGH COUGH?!!!
Durdlin: And Tracey joins the league of noticers…
Jen: Welcome aboard Tracey. Other than overwhelming urge to seal his mouth closed with duct tape, or taping his hands to his face so he doesn’t infect us, I’m doing great.
Dan: I’m going for my gun licence and buying a gun tomorrow as a direct result of the vigorous and offensive coughing by our chair-slouching little friend.
Durdlin: That might be going just a teensy bit too far dude… maybe you could just load liquid disinfectant in a water pistol or something?
Dan: It’s self defence. What if he has bird flu?
Durdlin: Bird flu? Quit livin’ in the past Grandpa Dan. It’s probably Swine Flu.
Dan: That’s just hurtful.
Durdlin: Um, sorry? You’re happy to forcibly insert disinfectant into The Cough-er but you’re miffed that I called you out for an out-dated reference?
Dan: That’s it, bike racks after school, IT’S ON!!!
Jen: FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!!!!
(To The Cough-er: I know this is unfair and I’m sorry. You’re probably a great guy but so far all we’ve seen is a string of irritating habits).